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The Romance Of Affliction

by SeeYouSpaceCowboy...

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1.
you said No, this isn't your intentions painted on a mask, ( I can’t tell who) is staring back at me Actors to your marks let's start again, I can’t decide how it will end (I can't think of a fitting end) Nothing’s precious but wait, every single step I take I’m looking for a new escape. No, don’t say I’m still the same. Save my soul, (dont say my name) I’ve tasted everything. Your gaze, your touch, yet I'm still in my grave. Cross stitch through my head, poor patchwork Pull the thread, there’s still the same blame No substance can change, I can’t Save my soul. I've taken every drink in hopes that i, can cleanse my thoughts, Please don't let me... make this mistake If all I wanted was Death, then I would fall in love But I need a dead end and a live wire Like i need a hole in my (thats enough) You make a drunk want another round Pouring gas on the fire I try to make it hurt You try to make me a liar Take it or leave it Please don't say, I can't change. Hold my head, cross the line, help me feel content. so Now we’re both trapped in the movement, you scream my name, i say we’re better off as just empty vessels, we won't make it out if we throw it all away. So close your eyes and... Say your prayers Its not enough to stay warm I want to burn in the flame This sense of life will fade away.
2.
All our failures are stars, all precious and always known. You’ll still try to stomp out the brightest, but somethings gotta give. All the guilt inside us, every touch and every kiss. I'm still singing your praise in the end I’m still singing your praise in the end. Silence every wishful longing for the past and possibilities left in my heart. Live with your sacrifice, now that it's over. Bury me in your head and tear me apart while your heart pulls the strings. A poem that never ends, words that keep bleeding, voices that reprimand. I’ll take all your pain just to make you feel safe. well we were trudging through misery with our sense of romance, So we’ll bury our pain, so please just kiss me. this concept of innocence, please just save me again. this concept of innocence, will you burn it all? Separate, sever the ties, keep searching for our empathy Separate, sever the ties So I See the stars in your eyes I see the stars in your eyes I see the stars in your…. eyes It just hurts to Relive everything Lips locked then lost to time. Poem that never ends, words that keep bleeding, voices that reprimand.. I’ll take all your pain just to make you feel safe. Please don't close your eyes, (the) sky shines with regrets and harmony, left with words unsaid All our failures are stars, all precious and always known. I’m still singing your praise in the end, I'm still singing your praise in the end.
3.
Strangers held so close, cherish while we can Replace my name, we’ve fallen out of grace Believe every waking lie till angels say goodbye. Don’t confess, our halo’s faded Betray the coveted, you still entice and have a taste for every solemn gaze we say by name and the tension tastes sweet. Map out the harmony, and yet the song is still unsung. You lay… eyes wide shut Take my hand like it’s the only thing worth reaching for Place the blame you’re not the only one whose bleeding You’re pacing just wasting time It's a remorseless act A brand new interaction Pray to ourselves, no God. Strangers held so close, cherish while we can Save your breath your voice is growing faint Believe every waking lie till angels say goodbye. Just Pace yourself the passion’s fading We won't be interlocked in the end Que sera, what's bloomed from lust, our siren’s now silent, oh the songs we sang, now they’re gone. Say you you’ll never go Fade away, but I can still feel your touch Say you won't go back Take my hand like it’s the only thing worth reaching for Place the blame you’re not the only one whose bleeding You’re pacing just wasting time It's a remorseless act I always got this impression. My conscience is killing time but there’s a part of me That’s pleading
4.
Cut through me, with good intention. safe disdain, claws are coming out. Can't stop their righteous gain, don’t you want to be “saved”? Precious thought, no contest, step out right or test their patience. and they’ll come still bearing down, so bite their hand and scream out. Oh snap the chains and breath, stand for everything (you love), Reclaim your fate, those hollow hearts that keep calling to end the beauty (are you listening?) of self expression instilled in ourselves. So bleed your substance until the end. This Life Is such a merryly game, but they play only by their rules No I’m not perfect neither are you Just do what I’m told? I cannot pursue Cause I am my own and living my truth We never granted We sever the losses Yeah Anyone could be anything they desire Keep climbing and go beyond All the voice that fuel the fire I wish that i listened sooner The pressure was getting higher No way can I keep intentions For those never Saving me Break down the walls, everything Dismantle pain Show your strength Anyone could anything Play for keeps This is my virtue, my belief Break down the walls, everything
5.
bird in a cage, lock it up and forget about saving yourself, an excuse for your nihilism, free from the bind your existence is still a prison bird in a cage, lock it up. cross every threshold, i'll just stare down you won’t look away I'll run at any second, break it down, fade away, repeat it. I can’t swallow hope, retract my solace I can’t stand the fray I’ll separate everything. so I’m running to drown in something new. This breath won’t start again. I’m so damn sorry this was never, (when its over now) my plan (nothings left for you here) As the sun sets, your ember still burns bite your tongue, make sure this is what you want. It’s over I’m over, the way that you lie straight through your teeth. I’m overcome, by the way you chose to speak. It’s over I’m over the words that will take a part of me, it’s the last time. oh god, when its over nothings left for… I can’t stand there knowing that you’ll still care, please don’t stop me, my conscious still can't quel this storm, Its over, talk to me Why can't I break the cage? escape my heart Ready set run away, oh my hollow chest. Oh don’t forsake me. “Think of what we had, (will you follow me back to there?) look at what you caused, will you take it all back when I go?” When I go, would you follow me back to the place that this all started? When I go, would you follow me back to the place that we once haunted? (I never wanted to know, that I’ve been set up to fall) Take back your safety, I don't deserve your grace. Take back your safety, your embrace Take back your safety, I don't deserve your grace Please don't let me go stay still, bird in a cage, your so safe stay still, bird in a cage in my heart. brace the storm, within myself.
6.
7.
This was my grand solution, just to set the blame. I saw it devour everything. So I took anything. Cleanse my blood, it's what the poison brings, Cause I can't escape. Sequestered memories hidden in the haze, another person has come to play, please stop me again . Watch me separate Cross out my name this disease is a part of me Try remembering Retracing steps, turn around and take in all the Pain i’m not worth it Say I'm not worth it It's the fallout of numbing this There's no reversing it I sent myself going round the bend cause the walls are caving in, oh, I think I took too much, (please) stop breathing. Cross out everything I can, take it all to just not feel. Lace my blood with wine, it will take every part of me, take every part of me Don’t wait, cause I know this ends. Just leave now Watch me separate Cross out my name this disease is a part of me Try remembering Retracing steps, turn around and take in all the Pain I’m not worth it Say I'm not worth it I’ve given it all to the bitter taste Let me drown in this.
8.
Don’t fly away, it’s your ascension that’s a tragedy, so take a breath and clip your wings. Will you be safe? Do you mean it? Oh “Icarus” , your solace burned too bright Bury yourself, I’ve seen the pain in our eyes, Don't face yourself, its the cost of letting go It’s time to turn away, you’re burning down with everything you love I’ve seen the scars that we both entrusted Don't cover them You know we both took them as reminders I’ve held the thread that they sewed into my flesh It's not that you didn't try hard enough It's just falling apart I've lost the hope that they grafted to my head, tear my flesh to say goodbye to tragic threads, that they have draped over you. .I'm just not sold on oh so graceful end, are you with me? Weighed down by the story. Im lost as witness to the tale, cause it never made sense to me, will they talk about it When its all over now? A bitter taste, don't waste away, just breath. . What do we have to say? burn out just like a moth to a flame Just to say that we had a chance Did you forget about consequence? Turn your back to the problem and pretend that you wanted this. Take what you say and free fall away So make your choice Take what you say, and throw it in my face, . It's your fire Eaten alive, torn from the inside, held by the thread, we’re still falling out of sync with fate.
9.
In this moment, im cut right to the core Cause i'm at war with mine, i can't stop crumbling Look at me look at me now, with my back against the wall Don't give in, try to find the balance The relapse is killing me no, take a breath and cave in, you’re weathered from the storm. Oh what a life, I didn't mean it. I'm torn in every way, I'm left frayed and so tired. And most will never see the parts it takes from me, Feel the pain with every breath, I feel the pain with every breath. How can I cope when it's me that's the problem? There's no escape from yourself I know, I'm the substance, that i tear apart Inside me, lost with no control In this moment, im cut right to the core Cause i'm at war with mine, i can't stop crumbling Look at me look at me now, with my back against the wall Don't give in, try to find the balance The relapse is killing me So hide me away, hide me away Cast out everything i know so that I can Take all the blame, take all the blame They wont even miss me at all This is every thought inside, i can't stop to think, its corrupting me Cross out everything I'm at war with the source of my consciousness, how can I survive?
10.
One left to take, I’m at the edge “you’ve got yourself to blame” Who can stop me? Who? Me? I watched the world dissolve to black, just wait thats the concept. You say “I can’t stop baby” the walls came crashing down” And with the implication, I’m sinking. Lose the sense of yourself (shed your reason) (you need it) Don't lose track ( of the journey,) But the path is now gone GONE
11.
12.
You said don't look surprised, I said its all the same. I'm writing this for you to remember me. All this time, lost to the patience of the hope we would burnout alone. We say we always knew, that bleeding hearts can't sink forever and so we say move on. Wasting my time, you’ve had it all along, back and forth and back forth you’re okay Close your eyes and don't think twice, we’re moving back and forth you’re okay, back and forth back and forth. Oh god, with every whisper, I cant resuscitate, I know, with the blood left around you, you can, give in and fucking taste it. Crave the lust though misery, just to breathe some life in. through your conflict with yourself, find solace in someone else. I’ll put that ink on that paper like the blood that a renders my heart persistent, so that the taste of our lips wont haunts your thoughts. Say something, not this time This is my faded memory of lies, that we trusted to us. It’s the last, parting gaze. We say we always knew there was no promise of forever, and so we say move on. Back away, don't look back, nothing lasts Wasting my time, you’ve had it all along, back and forth and back forth you’re okay Close your eyes and don't think twice, we’re moving back and forth you’re okay, back and forth back and forth. Retract the christened and all by the way, there’s something left, bury your heart with ME
13.
Shed your second skin, it was always too much for you Let the poison in, you crave the pain and lose control If the body aches, your mind might drift away for a long time Is it asking too much for one last taste when seeking shelter Will this last all night Pretend that nothing happened I won't make it through this time When It called out so sweetly I’ve embraced the veil so Don't cry, when i say Angel, I don't hear you. Glistening, it's the same solace in my veins The cherubs are singing, my vision is blurring, oh please take me on your wings. One last chance for us to replace all these things that take ahold So survive, hold on till the end Take it all back tonight i never wished for you to see me like this Sunk in the blissful agony I won’t make you choose Don't give up I can hear the calling me, I can hear them calling me home Fly home like a wounded dove, the way you say goodnight, oh it takes the life from me Cause i'm tired of feeling useless, and I’m scared of doing this again I’ve given all that was left of me, I can hear them calling me home I’ve seen the pain in your eyes, don't let me bring you down here too It was always too much for you You know we’ve tried everything but I'm still lost at sea. It was always too much for you

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released November 5, 2021

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SeeYouSpaceCowboy... San Diego, California

Sasscore from SD



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